All that hype for just one day! Now the countdown is really on..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Okay so its a few days late but its been a hectic 3 days man!
I literally have not stopped! Currently sat in bed writing this. I am fully aware that its 1.36pm but I'm catching up on chill out time so do not judge me!
But Christmas is effectively over...now the countdown to the big day is on. I couldn't be more petrified..
So Christmas this year was really important to me as its my last one here for a year, so I wanted it to go according to plan...thank god it didn't snow!
Saw the mother and nan on Christmas eve for some lunch and then trekked up to Warwick to see the brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew...ended up going to watch a nativity play at the local church where my niece, Evie, was christened. I'm all for things like that...they're usually quite cute and comical to watch but usually short too...this was not! A whole HOUR we spent there! Too much for my liking!
Then Sam and I dressed up in Santa outfits and met some mates in town to bring in Christmas Day. All in all, a really good day but so tiring!
Spent Christmas Day at my Aunties with my Grandparents and Dad and sister..such a lovely chilled out day...and the food?! My god! I'm still stuffed now!!!
Its really sad though as this could be one of the last times I see my Grandparents. The thought had crossed my mind when my sister dressed up as Santa and gave out the presents, highly hilarious I might add!, and also Dad mentioned it to me too. That sucks but that's life I guess :/
But I got pretty much everything I asked for...wow I sound like such a spoilt child!
But in fact, all i asked for was things for America such as diary's and address books and laptop cases etc. Got an awesome camera from the mother too! The exact one i wanted! Its one of the ones where you hold down the button and move it to the left and it takes a picture of the whole scene...its amazing! Spent all day playing with it!
And the best present? My best friend Tom is taking me to NEW YORK...flights, accommodation, the lot!! Also my 21st present but omg wow!
I fricking love that boy! I'm gonna miss him so so so dearly :(
I did yell at him for that too..Its way too much and I really don't deserve it.
Ben's gone home for Christmas :(
I don't mean to be sad and soppy but I really miss him. I cant believe hes not back till January 12th! Stupid skiing for his stupid 21st! :) It looks so amazing! I'm so jealous!
But I'm going down to Brighton to see him on Wednesday...literally cannot contain my excitement :) eeep!
Right better get my lazy bum out of bed and do something...clean the apartment whilst watching Xmas movies is what Ive settled on! Not going to even attempt going into town for shopping! I hate sales! Its like a fricking stampede!
I quite value my life thank you very much!

Disneyland Paris was just the warm up for the real thing!

So for my flatmates 21st birthday, I surprised her with tickets to Disneyland Paris for 3 days and its probably the best idea and best money I have ever spent on someone.
Granted its her Christmas present too and a little treat for me and her so we could chill and forget the turbulent 7 or so months we've had and also a marker to show how much she means to me and how much I will miss her when I'm gone.
Ive never needed a break away so much and it was defiantly worth it to see her so excited!
I booked it all aaaaages ago, even before my Disney interview...could you imagine if I hadn't gotten the job in Florida, how bittersweet it would have been to go to Paris and experience all I would have experienced?! So glad I got the job!
We went on Monday and got back today, only 3 days but that was defiantly long enough for us :)
These 3 days has given me an insight into what I'm gonna be doing and I don't think I could be any more excited!
But you know I've been struggling with not having it hit me that I'm leaving? Well on the coach back to the airport in Paris and chatting with Sam, it started to hit me then. Its the first real time we've sat together and talked about whats gonna happen with all of our stuff when we both move out of the flat..I actually got really freaked out..so i think its starting to hit me and as soon as Christmas is over, its gonna really start hitting...i can feel it already..
But Disney was incredible! Especially because its Christmas, it was so magical! I mean I know its supposed to be but come on..Disneyland in Paris...at Christmas...all the decorations and Christmas music?! Oh and it snowed! How amazing is that!
But my god...it was literally the coldest I have EVER been in my life...Ive never worn as many layers as I have these past 3 days!
And the food? My god...buffets and fast food galore...NIGHTMARE! I am literally not gonna eat for a week! The amount I consumed could probably feed a whole community for a week! Not even kidding!
I got Sam slightly into the Disney channel...love it! I love the Disney channel :D yeah...I'm slightly worried too!
I'm so glad that I'm working in the Florida Disney though...I could not cope with the sub zero temperatures in France in the winter!
Anyways I think my bed is calling...I'm so tired and cannot focus any longer! Am also being thrown straight back into work again...starting with a 9.30am-10pm shift tomorrow...Nice.
Better get some shut eye! Night!

'why are you jumping around? its only post?' 'DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THIS IS?!'

IT CAME! IT FINALLY CAME!
Finally have my packet from Disney :)
The best bit of post I have received all year! Its so shiny and pretty!
Literally jumped on the spot when I saw it this morning...Sam was like...erm..Claire, its just post...! Hell no its not! I've been waiting for this for aaaaages!
So glad I didn't see it last night otherwise I'd have been up for hours with it!
But its headed with a little picture of Mickey next to my address...its so cool!

Today has got to be probably the hardest day Ive had in a while..
My mother decided it was probably about the right time to visit me and see where I work...for the first time...been there 2 years and pretty much all of my family have been...says something no?
I'm stood behind the bar, doing all my bits and bobs and all I can hear is her going on and on, always talking, never a moments silence.
Now I know where I get it from but I hope I'm not THAT extreme, to the point where my company looks bored at me droning on about complete nonsense!
Ben's said its a good quality to have and he likes that I talk alot, but come on..sometimes I wonder if hes like oh Claire, just please shut up! wouldn't surprise me really! there are times when hes had to shut me up! :) probably like right now...I'm rambling..
My point is, to have someone who's relationship with you is more than strained, break down in tears on you when you say goodbye, is quite a tough thing to handle. I'm not the best when it comes to family emotion...I don't know why that is..I usually just freeze and make some sort of pathetic, unneeded comment which doesn't help the situation, but I literally just stood there and hugged her and told her not to cry...how weak is that? that I didn't know what to say to comfort my own mother..
I think she's realising that actually the way shes acted is not right and the consequence is that her own kids are distanced so much from her, they don't really make the effort and want to see her...wow that sounds awful on my part.
Ive never asked for anything from my mother..well from like the age of 14 maybe 15, because I knew I wouldn't get it. not in a spoilt brat kinda way. But in the my mother doesn't really contribute now that my parents are divorced way, so I stopped asking.
but for her to give me money towards America, literally left me speechless..I would never have expected that in a million years..I'm still shell shocked.
I'm guessing she's realised and is attempting to make up for lost time?

I go to Disneyland Paris on Monday! I'm SO excited! Its a trip for Sam, my flatmates, birthday and her Christmas present and a kind of last big thing that we'll do together before I leave. We both need a break...defiantly long overdue and I'm so excited that its just me and her!
Yeah its gonna be cold but come on...its DISNEY!
I was thinking...how bittersweet would it have been if I didn't get this job with Disney?! I'd have literally wanted to die whilst I was there! but this makes it so amazing!
I'll be able to say Ive been to Disney twice in 2 months and 2 different locations!
But every holiday never comes without its bumps...Tom booked my flights but booked depart Tuesday and come back Wednesday, when Ive booked everything for Monday come back Wednesday! Doh!
Never leave vital details like that to a man! :)
I asked him to do it in the first place because I so would have done it completely wrong! So glad its not my fault! But got it all sorted and we are flying from London Luton on Monday now! Cannot wait!
I so so so sooo hope we do not get any snow blizzards to the extreme of the past few weeks like up north has seen! touch wood!

I thought time only flew by when you were having fun?

60 Days.
2 months.
1440 hours until I leave. Yeah i just googled that.
Where the hell has time gone? I feel like I haven't had enough time to take it all in. Like i need more time, But I'm desperate to go...? Whats up with that?
4350 miles. 7000 kilometers. The distance between home and Florida. Oh. My. God.

My packs are still to come :(
I want them so much! Its been more than 5 weeks right?
But Hannah did say that their waiting for Disney for the acceptance letters, all of them..for every single person on the programme, and they'll then email when they're sending them as if they send half, the likes of facebook will show this and people who haven't received theirs, will be like but why haven't i gotten mine yet?! Makes sense really!
But the suspense is killing me! I wanna see it!
Ben's like omg...you haven't got your visa started yet?! Yeah...i know Ben...thanks for that!
Slightly worried!
Why have i just found this person? shittiest timing Claire! As per usual really. Oh well.
Life is what you make it, take risks and chances when they present themselves and live for the moment, otherwise you'll regret it if you don't.
I don't regret this.
He means alot. I'm glad I took that chance.
My boy <3

When's it gunna hit me?

Its still not hit me. I don't feel any different. Not in a like ungrateful way or anything, but I don't feel like its happening.
Ive booked my flight and sent off and paid for my CRB check. All I have to do now is get my insurance and my Visa but I don't start that until I get my Disney pack.
Oh yeah...WHERE IS IT?! I still haven't got it! I want it so much!
Maybe then it'll sink in? Here's to hoping. I'll let you know.
Soooo...the past week has been pretty hectic and stressful.
Its weird, but after being at my job for 2 years and now knowing I'm leaving, I feel like I've finally come into my role as a supervisor. Like I've obviously now got more responsibility and I am effectively in charge when there's no assistant or general manager around, but like I'm not scared of doing things that I would have been a few months ago, like I've finally got the guts to be a proper manager and not take shit from people..I don't know...I'm babbling. No shock there really!

I had to take my car in for a service as my car used to belong to my dad, who's a driving instructor and so for that reason, my car has to be looked at alot more than the usual car, as its done over 100,000 miles...112,301 to be precise :)
Turns out there was a few things wrong with it, I wont mention how dangerous, but you catch my drift...but Mr mechanic man dealt a blow that I had not expected and really can do without right now.
£631.96
That's how much its costing me to get my car sorted. FML.
All of my savings for America down the pan. Back to scratch now. Gotta work harder now. Great.
Luckily, as my sister is using my car whilst I'm away, my dads making her cough up and hes going to pay some as its wear and tear from his driving. Life is saved!

I just looked through my photos from my family holiday to Orlando last year. That's made me real excited! Like I'm guna be actually living there in 68 days...days..DAYS...AHHHHHHHH :)
Okay, there we go..a little bit of belief this is actually happening!

Come fly with me, lets fly, lets fly away :)

I'VE BOOKED MY FLIGHT!
Oh my lord its actually happening. Yet its still doesn't feel real.
Maybe when I get my tickets..It has to start feeling real then, right?
I don't wanna get there and be like holy crap...this is happening!
Ben was telling me when he went travelling, it didn't sink in until he arrived in Thialand...! I'd like to think I'm a little more prepared than that!
So, that's my CRB and my flight sorted...only my visa and insurance to go :)
How organised am I? Its astounding even me!
Short but sweet post :)

Today I can safely say that I'm the happiest I have been in ages!

Today has been the first real day that Ive actually started to put the wheels in motion for my move to America.
Ever since I was little, Ive always had a parent in the background, reminding me of things I need to do so I would get everything done on time.
Since March this year, Ive lived by myself with my flatmate, Sam, literally the best person you could ever meet. Not even joking.
So since March, I have not had that parent figure to push me and make sure I actually do the things I need to be doing in life, like paying rent and council tax, food shopping and washing. Ive done it off my own back. Something that I consider to be quite a huge thing. It optimises my transition into Independence.
Since finding out I got this amazing opportunity, my brains gone into overdrive, panicking about every little thing! As I said before, I invested in a trusty little notepad that's not leaving my handbag! Its coming everywhere with me at the moment! Ive made so many lists its ridiculous!
But today I started working through them...independently, with no push from anyone.
To say I'm proud of myself would be an understatement! I feel so empowered its silly!
But I actually made a list of what I wanted to do today. It had 5 things on it..I investigated 4 of them and feel so much more relaxed now that I know what I need to do!
From this, I will hopefully be booking my flight at the end of the week, eeeep!
That will seal the deal. That will be the point of no return, the event that marks that this is actually happening!
Today has been a good day. Id say that right now, right here, I am the happiest I have been in longer than I can remember. Life is finally on the up and I can finally smile again because I have something that's all mine.
So Sam, my flatmate, who I adore to the ends of the earth and back, came home from work today, and she sits down and says 'bear (that's what she calls me :)), I'm gonna make you a scrapbook. That's why I asked you to get a quote on pricings for 200 photos' so i asked, why are you making that? and she said 'because i want you to have something to take with you to Disney, so you wont forget me, forget everyone here. I'm gonna get everyone to write in it and sign it so you have something to remind you of home. but i don't know how to make it! help!'
That right there is why I adore her. I could have cried with happiness when she said that.
I wish I could bring her with me!

CRB, check :)

Process started!
I posted my CRB check on Monday and also paid for it! Its starting!
Although, I'm really worried that I filled the form out wrong, not that you really could, its pretty self explanatory, I mean that I put England as my country of birth, not United Kingdom..I so hope that's okay, otherwise its coming straight back here and its gonna take longer! Ahhh!
But that's one thing out of the way, pretty much the only thing I can defiantly do now, ticked off my list :)
It still doesn't seem real to me...like I know I've got it and all but I cant believe that in less than 3 months I'm moving..to America...for a year.
Even when I say it now, out loud to myself, or write it down, or tell someone about it, it still feels like a dream, like I'm looking at someone elses life and not my own.
It scares me a little now.
Like I'm leaving.
My home comforts are no longer going to be just a call away or in the next room. They're 3000 miles away.
The people I love the most, who I see and talk to everyday, will only be reachable via Internet or phone.
Thank god for the Internet.
I don't class myself as someone who will struggle living away from home, I actually relish the thought. I think the thing I'm most excited about is living in the apartments with all these new people and the social life I'm going to get live. I know this will be my saviour and will help me but I will miss every single person dearly and that's starting to hit me now too.
God if I'm like this now with 3 months to go, I dread what I'm gonna be like the week before! An emotional wreck I suppose! ( for the record, I'm not crying or anything, Ive just had one of those nights when you truly realise how much you value a friend :) )
I just wanna get this whole process going and go and stop it dragging!
I HATE WAITING!
But I'm glad for these 3 months. God there's no pleasing me is there?!

And it all starts with 3 little letters...C.R.B

So last night I logged on to my Yummy account and all the documents I will be needing for my trip are finally there!
I freaked out...naturally.
I emailed Yummy with my qualms only to find out all the information I was asking was available in the information they'd sent me. Great. I look like a total doofus now!
My CRB application was no where to be seen and this freaked me the most; also one of the questions I emailed. I then read the Disney feed on facebook and low and behold I read that the CRB paperwork is SENT BY POST TO YOU! oopps!
Literally ran out of my flat, still dressed for bed, no make up and hair looking like a toilet brush, (good thing there's no good looking guys living in my block!) down my stairwell to my post box, to find a little brown envelope with the yummy jobs stamp on it. Wow oh wow.
I was defiantly a blonde in a previous life.
But this is the marker that starts off my journey. I'm doing it. This is actually happening and is going to happen. Eeeek!

Today has been a big eye opener for me.
Today I had lunch with my mother and grandmother, a rarity in my world. But now that I'm leaving for a year, I feel more obliged to want to see my mother. My gran I have always wanted to, but I'm always so busy, I never get enough time to make the trip to Aylesbury.
To put you in the picture, not too much mind, the relationship between my mother and I and my younger sister has been more than strained for the past 3 years due to the breakdown of my parents marriage.
Its safe to say that I'm a fully fledged daddy's girl and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Its the way its always been. Dad was the one you went to if mum said no. Its textbook.
But my mother made my life a misery between 2006-2009. You see, my parents separated in 2006 and were then divorced by 2008 and up until last year, we were all living in the same house. Yes. Me, my younger sister, my dad and my mother. Hell is not the word i would use to describe those 2/3 years. Closer to torture.
But that's the reason and I don't like to talk about it so lets move on.
You only have one family and that's it. I'll regret not making amends in the future, if i don't start now.
My eyes were also opened to see the beauty of the friends I have, that I don't see often enough, that I should see more often, rather that the cycle of bad friendships I had or have right now.
A simple evening with someone I adore defiantly cures the heartbreak of a friend I had who's flitted away. I adore Ben. He is amazing.I take him for granted sometimes and I hate that.
Movies, popcorn and alot of chatting and laughing is defiantly a well spent evening, something I'm missing because of working so much.
I'm going to miss Ben alot..he makes me laugh so much, so easily.
I'm gunna make a point of spending more time with everyone I can and the ones that I don't see much of..

We are into double figures people!

So theres now 99 days until 1st Feb..yes I am counting down the days..I know its kinda gay but I really dont care!
I bought myself a little note pad so I can keep track of what I need to do, what Im going to take etc. Definatly not like me...I am the most un organised person ever! But Ive filled up the first 5 pages already!
Got an email through form Yummy Jobs telling me that Im going to be sent packets of information and I should expect to be recieving them in the next 5 weeks...5 WEEKS!!
I hate this waiting game now! Its no fun
And the CRB check...£55 for a piece of paper saying that I've never committed a crime. What a joke!
Im also going to recieve a phonecall from one of the team, which good...I have so many questions...yes, I've made a list in my book!

Im really greatful for the likes of Facebook and discussion forums. I think they're a great idea. I have met so many people that are doing the same thing as me, whether it be at the same time, or months later, or at the end of this year, its nice to know that there are other people feeling the same way as you and I think its definatly chilled me out a little. Im speaking to these people pretty much everyday already so when I get out there, Im already going to know quite a few people.
Is going to be so much easier, already knowing them, you don't have the intial awkwardness of the first meeting, you're already friends before you get there.

104 Days until the magic begins :)

THE best email of my life :D

So I start on February 1st 2011.
How insane is that?!
Without sounding too cliche, this is literally a dream come true. Florida is my favourite place in the whole world, so to get the opportunity to work there, is pretty special.
I have so much to do, I barely have room in my head to fit it all in, I know some of you reading this will instantly think, hell yeah that's true!
But for now, I can't really do anything until I get my Disney package through. That's right, a PACKAGE!
I'm beyond excited! That signifies that its actually happening!
I've let work know that I'm leaving, the hardest conversation I've had to have with someone so far, as I adore my manager. I knew she'd be upset, seeing as when I asked for a pay rise about a month ago, she almost fainted when the words 'Chrissie, can I have a word?' left my mouth. She told me never to scare her again like that. She thought I was quitting.
She told me she wanted to punch me in the face when I told her and my assistant manager, Aga, who, like everyone else I've told about this, said ' So you're going dress up as Mickey Mouse?!'. She said shes devastated but shes happy for me. THANK GOD.
But I'm not allowed to let the rest of the staff know just yet, which sucks because I cant really broadcast my excitement and I have to be real careful about what I say or what I post. But to have an unsettled restaurant team before Christmas is probably not what is best for the company so I guess I can give her that..