34 HOURS to go!

Such an amazing photograph <3

This was my leaving party. My closest friends at my local bar, dressed up as Disney characters! I cannot explain the love I have for them. The effort that people went to, to dress up really touched me and I feel so blessed to have an amazing set of friends.

The best night I could have ever asked for as a leaving do. Literally so drunk too! Love it when everyones offering to buy to drinks! :)

This weekend has been the best last weekend I could have ever hoped for.

So tomorrow is my last full day in wycombe...eeeep! Its so exciting and I feel so relieved...its taken me almost a year to get to this point and now its finally here..I just don't know where the time has gone!

I'm gonna spend all day with my sister Alice, lunch and shopping :) good combination! Shes getting me a leaving present too...I cant wait!

I cant believe I'm not gonna get to see her for a full year..its heartbreaking. I see and speak to her pretty much everyday so to go with just the Internet and phones as contact is gonna take some getting used to. Shes so gonna cry at the airport on Tuesday! I know it!

I had dinner at my best mate toms tonight and we were taking bets on who's gonna cry..theres me (obviously!) my dad, Sam, Alice, Tom and Ben going..I know for a fact Ben won't cry!...I'm glad...I'd rather him make one of his incredibly inappropriate jokes than bawl on my shoulder as I can put bets on Alice and Sam crying! Everyones been saying that I will but I really just don't see it! I feel like such a cold, heartless bitch!

Sam and Ben both thought Id cry on my last shift and literally everyone said I'd cry last night but I didn't...whats wrong with me?! I just cant cry!

I think I may tomorrow..I'm gonna have a quiet few drinks with friends tomorrow night for those who couldn't make it and for the fact that everyone was mightily drunk last night!

Tomorrow is gonna be a MEGA hectic day...I hope its fun though.

Ive finally packed! I packed, unpacked and repacked at least 3 times on Friday before I moved out of the flat on Saturday. I'm currently crashing in between Ben's and my dads...I'm a homeless person! It feels so weird!!

I spent all day in bed at Ben's today whilst he was at work..literally heaven! Ive never done that...spent all day in bed, I think its such a waste of a day that I'm never gonna get back but I think it did me good :)..literally didn't get up till 7ish! :) Ben finished at 5 and came home to me still sleeping! oops! He couldn't believe Id not got up and done something...obviously so jealous but he put on a movie and we chilled out until I had to leave. Was so nice...perfect Sunday really.

I'm gonna miss that so so much its ridiculous. Doesn't come close to how much I'm gonna miss him though :(

Single Digits

The goodbyes have started.
I can now visualise every day until I go as I have something to do or people to see.
That scares the life out of me.
I'm leaving the country in 9 days...how the hell did that happen?!
I seriously need to start packing!
The flats well on its way to being emptied...its so weird being sat here in a living room with barely anything in it, boxes and bags and piles of things everywhere. Its quite haunting. I really dislike it.
I saw my sister in law and grandparents for the last time today. It made me unexpectedly sad...as my Gran pulled away in the car, she opened the door and yelled 'I love you all', something that I've never heard her say out load like that before. I don't mean that in a cold hearted way at all. It touched me and the card they gave me defiantly tugged at my heart strings.
I hate goodbyes, this is gonna be one tough week.
But at the same time, I know its gonna be an awesome week as I'll spend it with the people I love the most.
I simply cannot wait for my leaving party...I'm waiting on my costume to arrive! Its so exciting! Its not something I would have chosen off my own back, cheers to Lauryn for that!
But I figure, hey, why not go all out!

Shit...I'm in the teens?!

18 days to go. FML that's come round quick.
I had a slight relief though, when a friend pointed out that the 29th is in fact not next Saturday, its the Saturday after! PHEW! 3 weeks ish to go!
29th is my leaving party. Its Disney themed...of course! I absolutely cannot wait for it! Which reminds me, I still need to get my costume!
Its my last day at work today. I'm sad but excited at the same time...2 and a bit weeks of chilling out..sounds like heaven. Obviously this time will be used wisely, seeing friends and family and packing but i just felt I needed 2 weeks instead of 1 as, knowing me, I'll be stressing and worrying constantly if I have less time and I really don't wanna go to America stressed!
2 of my waitresses have already given me leaving cards, which is so sweet as I didn't expect them to do that! One of them handmade theirs and its so amazing! The other is an Alice In Wonderland card, entitled 'Claire In Wonderland' inside the card! Love it!
I'm gonna take them with me to America to stick on my walls, along with other various photos and bits and pieces I have so I can make it more homely :)
I'm actually really excited now. My waiter Jamie, asked what is the first thing I'm gonna when I get to Disney, bar checking in and such. Decorating my room was my response! I wanna make it my own and I'll feel more at home and relaxed once Ive done that. Think I might take some fairy lights etc along with photos and trinkets that remind me of home.I actually cant wait for that bit...yeah sounds so gay!
Ben's back :) eeeep!
Being so busy last week and all, I kinda didn't really have chance to think about missing him, not in a bad way at all, but seeing him made me realise I did really miss him and I'm glad hes home. I think all I needed to re balance myself completely, was just a simple hug from him. Its strange how much a hug can do. But I felt safer and more at ease, having him there in person.
He bought me perfume too :) Its so yummy! (Ive not been tasting it if that's what you think, i mean it smells yumm!) 
Its his 21st tomorrow and I asked him if he was excited, he said 'no, I'm getting old' I pointed out the valid fact that I'm 21 in 6 months time and he said 'so you'll be old too'! He is a funny thing, bless him :)
Hes been so supportive through all of this, Im so grateful and I cant put in to words how much I'm gonna miss him :(

The aim for today: Not to cry. Both Ben and Sam say I will. I WILL prove them wrong!

Visa, DONE

Since being accepted to this programme, my biggest fear was the Visa part of it.
Completely baffled me and I just couldn't get my head around how it worked. I read all of the information provided by Yummy and on the embassy website itself, but its just didn't click and make sense.
So Ive spent the past 4 months, petrified about it.
Today I GOT MY VISA!
All by myself..so proud :)
So after booking my appointment on Tuesday night, I literally had Wednesday daytime to figure it all out and get everything together.
I can safely say, that these past 2 days have been the most stressful ever..literally felt like bursting into tears every 5 minutes. All I wanted was a cuddle or some form of love to comfort me...I know that's pathetic right? but the person I wanted to pick me up is in stupid Bulgaria, skiing on a stupid mountain, drinking stupid amounts of cheap beer whilst I'm here, dying!
Hes back tomorrow though :) well back in the country, not back here till Wednesday :(
Anyway..completely sidetracked talking about the boy :) my point was that I worked Wednesday evening and didn't finish until 12am, had to be back at work for 9.30am yesterday and was there until 11.30! got home for like 11.45 and was up until 12.30 prepping everything so I didn't have to rush too much in the morning. I hate that! because it resulted in me realising...last minute.com, that I hadn't printed my application receipt..one of the important documents! FML! ahhh!
So I had to make sure I was up and out by 5.30am this morning to get to my dads house, to print out the last important document! I'm such a dippy thing!
Got into London fine though...I cannot work London, it confuses the hell out of me! But I made it there and back in one piece, with no help from anyone else! result!
The US embassy is ridiculous though! had to queue up outside, even though I had an appointment, it was raining OF COURSE. You're not allowed to take any electronical items into the building...you wont be allowed in and will loose your appointment! so I left my phone, ipod etc in my car and took the bare minimal. I STILL GOT STOPPED! you know why?! my car key is electronic and I have a FOB for my flat! absolute nightmare! so had to leave and come back!
I honestly thought it was going to take me hours in there but I got in for like 8.30ish? and was out by 10am! nice!
The waiting room is like a departure lounge, with screens calling the number you are given when you enter the embassy. They take your vital pieces of paper and passport, take your finger and thumb prints, given your number back and then called again for your interview which literally consists of why? when? what? and how! So simple and they tell you there and then if you've been accepted or not!
ACCEPTED! yay! not just gotta wait for it to be couriered back to me, which should be around Tuesday or Wednesday next week. piece of cake! :)
Can put my mind to rest now...thank god!

Literally one of THE MOST important documents I need and its taken until today to get it!

My confirmation of submission of a Non immigrant visa! HELLS YEAHHH! About fricking time!

I have never been so stressed in my life to get this piece of paper!

My appointment to get my actual Visa at the US Embassy is in London on Friday at 8 AM! FML! That's a 6AM start for me! Yikes!

But at least after that, I can relax, just gotta wait the 5-10 days for it to be couriered back to me, inform Yummy that its come back so they can tell Disney and then all I need to do is buy my insurance and pay the $100 for my accommodation for the first 2 weeks and then I'm DONE!

Oh My God...I'm almost there! 3 months down the line and Ive actually done it...all by myself...wow. That's scary.

I started packing up my apartment on Monday. My flatmate was literally like Claire, you gotta pull your finger out and do it, i know you wont if i don't push you! I'm confiscati8ng your phone and your gonna sort out your room now! i love her so much!

I managed to pack up one box that's gonna be stored at dads, filled up a bag of clothes that went to the sister ( it was like Christmas all over again for her! ) and filled some bags with stuff that i can take to the car boot sale me and Sam are gonna do on Sunday.

Its only a small dent so far but it seems so bare already!

Right, better head off to work, literally have not stopped to take a breath today!

All that hype for just one day! Now the countdown is really on..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Okay so its a few days late but its been a hectic 3 days man!
I literally have not stopped! Currently sat in bed writing this. I am fully aware that its 1.36pm but I'm catching up on chill out time so do not judge me!
But Christmas is effectively over...now the countdown to the big day is on. I couldn't be more petrified..
So Christmas this year was really important to me as its my last one here for a year, so I wanted it to go according to plan...thank god it didn't snow!
Saw the mother and nan on Christmas eve for some lunch and then trekked up to Warwick to see the brother and sister-in-law and niece and nephew...ended up going to watch a nativity play at the local church where my niece, Evie, was christened. I'm all for things like that...they're usually quite cute and comical to watch but usually short too...this was not! A whole HOUR we spent there! Too much for my liking!
Then Sam and I dressed up in Santa outfits and met some mates in town to bring in Christmas Day. All in all, a really good day but so tiring!
Spent Christmas Day at my Aunties with my Grandparents and Dad and sister..such a lovely chilled out day...and the food?! My god! I'm still stuffed now!!!
Its really sad though as this could be one of the last times I see my Grandparents. The thought had crossed my mind when my sister dressed up as Santa and gave out the presents, highly hilarious I might add!, and also Dad mentioned it to me too. That sucks but that's life I guess :/
But I got pretty much everything I asked for...wow I sound like such a spoilt child!
But in fact, all i asked for was things for America such as diary's and address books and laptop cases etc. Got an awesome camera from the mother too! The exact one i wanted! Its one of the ones where you hold down the button and move it to the left and it takes a picture of the whole scene...its amazing! Spent all day playing with it!
And the best present? My best friend Tom is taking me to NEW YORK...flights, accommodation, the lot!! Also my 21st present but omg wow!
I fricking love that boy! I'm gonna miss him so so so dearly :(
I did yell at him for that too..Its way too much and I really don't deserve it.
Ben's gone home for Christmas :(
I don't mean to be sad and soppy but I really miss him. I cant believe hes not back till January 12th! Stupid skiing for his stupid 21st! :) It looks so amazing! I'm so jealous!
But I'm going down to Brighton to see him on Wednesday...literally cannot contain my excitement :) eeep!
Right better get my lazy bum out of bed and do something...clean the apartment whilst watching Xmas movies is what Ive settled on! Not going to even attempt going into town for shopping! I hate sales! Its like a fricking stampede!
I quite value my life thank you very much!

Disneyland Paris was just the warm up for the real thing!

So for my flatmates 21st birthday, I surprised her with tickets to Disneyland Paris for 3 days and its probably the best idea and best money I have ever spent on someone.
Granted its her Christmas present too and a little treat for me and her so we could chill and forget the turbulent 7 or so months we've had and also a marker to show how much she means to me and how much I will miss her when I'm gone.
Ive never needed a break away so much and it was defiantly worth it to see her so excited!
I booked it all aaaaages ago, even before my Disney interview...could you imagine if I hadn't gotten the job in Florida, how bittersweet it would have been to go to Paris and experience all I would have experienced?! So glad I got the job!
We went on Monday and got back today, only 3 days but that was defiantly long enough for us :)
These 3 days has given me an insight into what I'm gonna be doing and I don't think I could be any more excited!
But you know I've been struggling with not having it hit me that I'm leaving? Well on the coach back to the airport in Paris and chatting with Sam, it started to hit me then. Its the first real time we've sat together and talked about whats gonna happen with all of our stuff when we both move out of the flat..I actually got really freaked out..so i think its starting to hit me and as soon as Christmas is over, its gonna really start hitting...i can feel it already..
But Disney was incredible! Especially because its Christmas, it was so magical! I mean I know its supposed to be but come on..Disneyland in Paris...at Christmas...all the decorations and Christmas music?! Oh and it snowed! How amazing is that!
But my god...it was literally the coldest I have EVER been in my life...Ive never worn as many layers as I have these past 3 days!
And the food? My god...buffets and fast food galore...NIGHTMARE! I am literally not gonna eat for a week! The amount I consumed could probably feed a whole community for a week! Not even kidding!
I got Sam slightly into the Disney channel...love it! I love the Disney channel :D yeah...I'm slightly worried too!
I'm so glad that I'm working in the Florida Disney though...I could not cope with the sub zero temperatures in France in the winter!
Anyways I think my bed is calling...I'm so tired and cannot focus any longer! Am also being thrown straight back into work again...starting with a 9.30am-10pm shift tomorrow...Nice.
Better get some shut eye! Night!